[Avodah] several questions

[Tal Moshe Zwecker]

Only women are present at the kallah's side till the badeken, and onlt the chosson and rabbonim/family actually see her before she is veiled for a brief moment (at least in our circles this is the way its done and then again in our circles that is where you find a totally opaque non see thru veil)

During Zivug Sheni weddings if there is a large wedding and guests etc. like a regular wedding brides in our circles do wear detichels same as in Zibug Rishon

Please quote the Gemarra in question where we permit people to gaze at the kallah

what you may consider not darkei noam and "cruel punishment" is personal and subjective and has no basis as an argument here (not because I dont respect your opinion chas veshalom) but because this minhag is very old has its basis in the Maharil and therefore was and is practiced in Ashkenaz for many generations, obviously the norms and customs in earlier generations dont fit with some modern people's conception of what they consider normal and pleasant

For example many chassidic weddings are 100% separate affairs and after the chuppah men and women are at separate halls for the entire wedding till the mitzvah tantz at the end. Many non chassidim are horrified by this custom and imagine it as ruining the family simcha etc. but to us its normal

so what may be normal for some is strange and horrible for others (btw my wife loved the dektich she told me afterwards that it was great not having to see anyone and not to feel self conscious)

Kol Tuv,
R' Tal Moshe Zwecker
Director Machon Be'er Mayim Chaim
Chassidic Classics in the English Language
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