[Avodah] Children at a wedding

[Ilana Sober Elzufon]

My daughters (ages 9 and 11 at the time) were at the chupah when I
remarried, two years after their father died. But my memories of all the
wedding preparations are such a blur that I don't even remember if we asked
a specific she'elah about this, although I think we did and were told that
the minhag is non-binding and can be adjusted to circumstances. On a
practical level, I think leaving them out would have been much more
stressful, and detracted from everyone's simcha (especially theirs),
significantly more than having them present. Judging from the photos, they
look like they were enjoying themselves (practical hint: we had them invite
several of their own friends).

I think there is a bittersweet element at any wedding under these
circumstances. Certainly there were many people at my second wedding who
knew my first husband - including his parents and his entire family, as well
as the many friends and neighbours all three of us had in common. And for
that matter, including my second husband, who was one of his closest
friends.

- Ilana
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