[Avodah] hilchos eretz yisrael/ kids at second weddings

[basserh at queensu.ca]

RE hilchot eretz yisrael-- it has long been known that the hilchot A"Y
is really Amar Yeshoshua for this is how eldad hadani introduces his
laws as if he had a masora from yehoshua. See
http://parsha.blogspot.com/2007/07/daf-yomi-yevamot-102a-if-eliyahu-should.html

    "Meanwhile, Tosafot quotes Hilchot Eretz Yisrael that women should
    not shecht because "da'atan kalot" -- however you want to interpret
    it. (E.g. they are delicate such that they will faint a moment at
    the sight of blood and thus will invalidate the shechita, or else
    that they will treat the mitzvah lightly.) (It is actually Hilchot
    Amar Yehoshua, from Eldad haDani.)"

Re children at second marriage-- when I lost my wife after a horrible
illness and i had a 6 year old at home plus teenagers and married
children-- I wanted my children at the chupa (the wedding was so small we
didnt have a minyan because some of them thought they would be superfrum
and not come to the chupa althought they got along better with my now
wife than they did with me). It was a moment of such joy for me I really
wanted to feel their approval and participation. Most did come. Whatever
the reason for the minhag, if there is one-- in some cases it needs to
be ignored if the hassan kallah want the kids there-- they all came to
the meal which for me was secondary-- the moment of raising the curtain
on a new life without closing the old one was what I needed to share
with my family(my wife invited all my kids for their mother's yahrzeit,
kept her pictures in the house and didnt insist we move because my 6
year old wanted to stay in mommy's house without any changes. And we
still live in it and any changes she gets my 19 year olds approval. we
also have 2 children, ages 9 and 10 of our own). To create a divide
between a deceased parent (or even living divorced parent) and a living
step-parent is not healthy.

Zvi Basser