[Avodah] hashgachot

[Ben Waxman]

I am sending this to Avodah.

The Rema in YD 119:7 states explicitly that one can eat in someone else's
home even if the latter does not keep the same piskei halakha or minhagim.
The Rema's phrasing is that "vadai lo ye'ehkhiluhu devar sh'hu noheg bo
issur". The Shakh there brings some details to this basic rule (such as when
can the host use his keilim, when can the guest be meiqil and eat the food
(or not)), but he agrees with the bottom line. The Khochmot Adam doesn't
bring the Shakh's rules, he simply states that it is muttar to eat at other
people's homes, even if they don't keep all of your khumrot.

The Kaf HaKhayim brings these opinions and discusses another case, that
where the host thinks that the guest's minhagim are minhag ta'ot. Can the
host be relied upon in this case. He brings (I believe) the Trumat HaDeshen
who says no, but in the end the KhK states the host can be relied upon.

In short I didn't see anyone who indicated that the best thing to do is not
to eat at this person's home. The host's piskei kahakha are not the issue.
Once the guest says "I only eat X, Y, Z; can you do that?" and the host says
"Yes I can", that should be it. OK if there is a particular person whom
someone knows to be careless or unreliable, I understand. But everyone?

So when there is an explicit Rema that the host will not transgress "lifnei
iveir" (that is the issue) and someone says that he is going to be poreish
above and beyond what anyone calls for, it should raise a flag. I am not
stating that it is forbidden to act in this way. However, IMO, someone who
does do this has to be 1000% sure that his kavana is l'shem shamayim. There
is no makhloqet here. So why is some being poreish in this manner?

Ben

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Mike Miller" <areivim at mikeage.net>
>
> I don't see your problem here. RYL is not impinging anyone's
> reliability but rather stating that the average person's
> _piskei_halacha_ are not in accordance with his. What's wrong with
> that?
>
> He completely trusts his neighbor to be honest, to be following his
> [the neighbor's] Rav, etc... but he says that that's the very reason
> he doesn't rely on him.