[Avodah] Women at a funeral

[Ilana Sober Elzufon]

Without getting into the halachic/aggadic substance of the question - I have
seen women give hespedim at funerals conducted by reputable mainstream
Orthodox rabbis (and, for that matter, for Orthodox rabbis).

The real question in this case is about pluralism. Do official and
quasi-official bodies like the Rabbanut and the Chevra Kadisha have an
obligation to permit anything that is within the generally accepted bounds
of Orthodox practice, whether or not they personally rule that the action is
permitted? In which case, how exactly do we define those bounds? Or should
they follow their own halachic conscience, and forbid activities that they
consider assur? Same problem as we had last year with heter mechira.

Another aspect of the question - what are the boundaries of the Chevra
Kadisha's authority? On what basis are they authorized to rule what may or
may not take place at a funeral? What if a daughter wants not only to say a
hesped, but to recite kaddish - a less widespread practice, but one I
believe is permitted by some poskim? What if the family are non-Orthodox
egalitarian, and want to recite a "gender-balanced" version of prayers or do
some other totally out of halachic bounds activity? Is there some room for
them to say such things, and for the Chevra Kadisha to just ignore it (and
can the mourners, who are emotionally vulnerable, probably intimidated by
the rabbis, and not necessarily conversant with all the nuances of these
halachot which they may not have much experience with, find out that there
is room?)?

- Ilana
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