[Avodah] Friday Nighr blessings

[Michael Poppers]

In Avodah Digest V26#42, RAM wrote:
> I found some sources for this in "Sefer Shema Beni / A Halachic 
> Compendium on the laws of Child Rearing" by Rabbi Dovid Weinberger. He 
> writes:
>> Even older children, including married children, should receive brochos 
>> from their parents.
> His sources include:
> - Maavar Yabok 43.
> - Yesodei Yeshurun, section "Kiddush", that one should use both hands.
> - Pachad Yitzchak note 2, pg 54 - to use one hand for a single child, but 
> both hands for a married son.
> - Shu"t Be'er Moshe vol 4, #125 - that the Yaave"tz says to use both 
> hands.
> - Torah Temimah, Naso -- that the Gr"a used only one hand, to avoid 
> appearing like Birkas Kohanim.
> Of those seforim, I have only the last one, and it seems to be slightly 
> off-topic....

It's not the only source (see my next paragraph) which is "off-topic."
In the RProfDS article RAM noted (again, the URL is
<http://www.biu.ac.il/JH/Parasha/eng/vayechi/sper.html>), note the
language (presumably a translation :)) of the "Pachad Yitzchaq" quote:

<< I have seen some fastidious people who do not bless *their disciples*
{emphasis mine --MP} with both hands, and say that it should be done
thus so as not to mix mercy with strict judgment. I, however, used to
bless those who were married with both hands, one for him and the other
for his wife, and bachelors with one hand. >>

(Granted, the "note 2" may be the aspect speaking of married *children* -- 
unfortunately, the edition of PY which RProfDS mentions does not appear to 
be available at HebrewBooks.org [and I couldn't find the text in question 
within the "PY HaShaleim" which *is* at that site].  Perhaps we should 
contact RProfDS?  [Also see next paragraph -- could it be that RProfDS was 
merely relying on the Yesodei Yeshurun reference?!])

I'm sorry, but I see less of a relationship between the Rebbe-talmid
relationship and the minhag of Bircas haBanim (BhB) which I thought we
were discussing than between BhB and RSG's example of Ya'aqov Avinu on
his deathbed, and I already expressed my opinion to RSG re that latter
example :). Perhaps we should take a step back and consider the archetypes
of b'rachos and of s'michos yad in the Torah -- hopefully, we can agree
that many, if not all, contribute something to the discussion of BhB but
aren't similar enough for us to draw concrete conclusions about BhB (like
whether n'giah is hutrah or d'chuyah :) and/or whether it even entered
into the original definition of the custom as brought down by RYE <for
those who didn't take my advice and [re]visit Avodah v8, at least read
RSBA's brief post at http://www.aishdas.org/avodah/vol08/v08n020.shtml#06 >
and others [as you'll soon see re MY if you keep reading this post...]).

Re the three other sources noted by RDW as per RAM:
- "Maavar Yabok 43" apparently refers to Chapter 43 of the Sifsei R'nanos 
section of MY (pp. 390ff. in the HebrewBooks.org older-printing [circa 
1626 CE] PDF available via http://hebrewbooks.org/11774 , or go to 
http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=11774&pgnum=390 ).  Allow me to 
translate its very first words: "They say in Pereq 'Gidul Banim': 'When a 
man places his hand on the head of the *minor child* {emphasis mine --MP}, 
....'"  'nuf said 'bout that source (but I encourage everyone to read 
further, as the author talks about specifically blessing one's children, 
whether sons or daughters, on leil Shabbos, and there certainly is more of 
interest even to those who are not m'qubbalim...) -- I saw nothing in it 
re married children.

- 'Yesodei Yeshurun, section "Kiddush"' refers to a contemporary
(specifically, 20th c. CE) publication, the relevant section of which
can be found in Vol. 3/6 (published 1958), the Shabbos-specific
volume (pp. 204ff. in the HebrewBooks.org PDF available via
http://hebrewbooks.org/4173 , or go to
http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=4173&pgnum=204&hilite= ).
The author indeed writes (as a "yeish nohagin") about the father blessing
even married sons -- once again, allow me to translate: "...and some have
the custom to bless the married son with both hands, on behalf of him and
his wife, and the unmarried son with one hand [source: Pachad Yitzchaq
Os Beis Daf Nun-Daled]." On the same page, he notes many other aspects
of BhB -- by all means, ayin sham. I find it interesting that the noted
source sounds awfully like RProfDS's noted source -- thing is, PY is an
encyclopedia, so "Os Beis" would seemingly refer to the letter Beis,
not to a note 2! yet in the PY editions I looked at, there aren't 54
"Beis"-related pages, there isn't a numbered p.54 referring to a word
starting with the letter "beis" or to any topic related to BhB, and I
could find no entry related to BhB!

- "Shu"t Be'er Moshe vol 4, #125" (if it's "Yesodei Yeshurun," shouldn't
the transliteration be "Bei'er Moshe"? :)) is another contemporary source.
 My first assumption was that "#125" referred to Siman 125, but the SHuT
there (http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=14710&pgnum=468&hilite=)
seems totally unrelated to BhB. I then checked p.125 -- also no
relationship to our topic. I then checked the same two possibilities
for Vol 3, as Vol.s 3 and 4 are in the same PDF -- nope and nope -- and
the same two possibilities (where extant) in the other six volumes --
nope and nope. Seems like either the cite has a typo re the particular
sh'eilah or it refers to the SHuT of an author other than RMStern --
HebrewBooks.org had a few such s'farim available, but I couldn't find
anything relevant.

In summary, one contemporary source referring to fathers blessing married
sons which takes its lead from an older source whose text must be Out
There Somewhere but eluded me. The sources for fathers blessing minor
children are available for perusal and of older vintage (and RSBA may
not be the only one to note that the author of Seifer "Ma'avar Yaboq,"
RAB'rachia, is at least a contemporary of, if not slightly older than,
the "Chacham Tzvi," RYEmden's father, whom RSBA spoke of in that Avodah
v8 post).

Shabbas Shalom/A guten Shabbes and all the best from
Michael Poppers * Elizabeth, NJ, USA