[Avodah] Y'fas to'ar, etc.

[Zev Sero]

Cantor Wolberg wrote:

> The explanation of pasuk 11 that if God did not permit her to him, he 
> would then take her illicitly, flies in the face of the whole point of 
> Torah. We are given the yetzer tov and the yetzer ra and are constantly 
> challenged with overcoming the latter. With the reasoning given, why not 
> allow adulterous relationships when a man comes across a beautiful 
> woman. Why not allow eating treif if one is overcome by a delicious 
> looking steak?  I don't mean to sound facetious, but is there anyone out 
> there who understands my point?  We have so many mitzvot that can be 
> rationalized the same way.

Because all of those temptations can be overcome with sufficient effort,
and this one can't.  There will exist at least some soldiers for whom
this yetzer hara simply can't be overcome no matter how hard they try,
and Hashem doesn't expect the impossible, just the very very difficult.
Indeed the fact that we have a heter here and not in other cases serves
as chizuk in those other cases; it may seem to a person that resistance
is impossible, and he has no choice but to succumb, and Hashem tells
him no, I who made you know your limits, and if this were beyond your
limits I would have given you an escape valve, as I did in the case of
Yefat Toar.  So however impossible it seems to you, try harder, because
I assure you it is possible.  (Not that this is much consolation to the
one who does fail, as we all do; but that's another discussion.)


> The explanation of pasuk 13 seems equally irrational. Firstly, a woman 
> is taken against her will, and then we're being so thoughtful by 
> allowing her to cry for her parents a whole month. Then, he can be 
> intimate with her. The commentary continues to say that the Jewish woman 
> should be happy?!  Give me a break. This is totally irrational and both 
> women (the captive and his wife) are objects and are being used.

Which is exactly why Rashi doesn't say that we're being thoughtful to
the Yefat Toar.  That's what the simple pshat would seem to be at first
glance, but it has a problem as you point out; which is why Rashi says
no, that isn't the reason at all.  Instead the reason is to give him a
chance to change his mind.  Let him see her at her worst-looking, and
his wife at her best, and the odds are that the yetzer hara will pass
during these 30 days, and he'll get rid of her; having had his way
with her he can't sell her, so he must set her free.  But if his yetzer
is so strong that after 30 days of this treatment he still can't resist
her, then she converts and he can marry her, though the Torah warns him
that he's going to end up hating her, and will be unable to divorce her.

-- 
Zev Sero               Something has gone seriously awry with this Court's
zev at sero.name          interpretation of the Constitution.
                       	                          - Clarence Thomas