[Avodah] Husband

[Micha Berger]

On Tue, Jul 22, 2008 at 10:04am EDT, R Yitzchok Levine quoted from the
new translation of the Hirsch Chumash, Bamidbar, 30:4:
:     A man's vow is binding on him from the outset. He can -- and should
:     (see ibid. 59a; cf. Commentary, Devarim 23:22ff.) -- submit his vow
:     to the national community and its representatives...

:     Not so for a woman. The moral greatness of the woman's calling
:     requires that she enter a position in life created by another. The
:     woman does not build for herself her own home. She enters the home
:     provided by the man, and she manages it, bringing happiness to the
:     home and nurturing everything inside the home in a spirit of sanctity
:     and orientation toward God....

RSRH comments on the qeri ukesiv of vekivshuha (in birkhas Adam, Bereishis
1) in Judaism Eternal ch 11 ("The Jewish Woman"):
    Vikvshuha is read malei [full, ie with the vav], but written chaseir
    [deficient]. In other words, while it is read as though both should
    participate in conquering the world, it's written "vikivshah",
    that only one of them should.

    ... [T]he command to "subdue", and with it to procure the means
    necessary for marriage and for founding a household, is addressed
    only to the male sex, to whose function it belongs to compel the
    earth through labour to serve the needs of man. Hence the command
    to marry and found a household has absolute force only for the
    male sex. Since, however, these commands are after all addressed to
    both sexes, it is obvious that for the performance of man's task of
    building up the world the Law-giver reckoned on the harmonious and
    equal co-operation of both sexes. Further, by excusing the famale sex
    from the hard labour of subduing and mastering the earth,... [H]e
    left it free to be devoted to the higher and more humanistic task
    of employing the products of man's labour for the ethical purposes
    of building up a house and family, that is to say, in the service
    of his true vocation and his welfare as a human being.

R SR Hirsch explains this verse as being about the Talmudic aphorism
that "man brings in the grain, and woman makes it into bread". Man
conquers and acquires, woman develops the raw material into a finished
product. Man builds a society, woman gives it a religious backbone.
Ideally it would be man who produces technology, and women who make sure
we don't dehumanize ourselves in the process.

This is akin to an observation by "Dear Abby" (Pauline Phillips, born
Pauline Esther Friedman). She wrote that men are goal oriented, while
women are process oriented. This is an alleged gender difference from a
totally unrelated source, albeit one probably based on anecdotal evidence,
that would fit the roles assumed above.

Rav Hirsch speaks in terms of "inside" vs. "outside", community in
service of its members, vs the expansion of the community's domain,
reach, and standard of living. The similarity to Rav Aharon's dichotomy
of qibbush extending our reach vs. chazaqah developing what we have is
quite strong, although not identical.

Thus, his "kol kevudah bas melekh penimah" (Tehillim 45:14) is "But the
king's daughter is all glorious within, more than the golden borders
of her raiment." As R Michael Poppers pointed out a long while back,
this better fits the hyphenation of "kol-kevudah" as well as the use of
"kevudah" not "kevudas". The commentary reads:

    "But", the singer adds with infinite tact and delicacy, "though the
    princess may appear glorious and splendid in public, she reveals
    her true glory in quiet, more private circles, and the splendid
    qualities she shows there are much greater than the exquisite beauty
    of the gold borders which shine at the hem of her garment." Penimah
    "within," is always used to designate an inner recess as opposed to
    the outer chambers.

(The above is about half of
<http://www.aishdas.org/asp/2008/06/gender-differences.shtml>.)

On Tue, Jul 22, 2008 at 12:15pm GMT, R Akiva Miller <kennethgmiller at juno.com>
wrote:
: In the great majority of contexts where we would expect a word for
: "husband", the word actually used is "baal". The basic meaning of "baal"
: is "master", but in contexts involving a man-woman relationship, we
: usually translate it as "husband".

Given what I recently wrote on ba'alus, a ba'al is one who has
responsibility. With responsibility comes authority, but that meaning
of ba'al is the derived one.

IOW, I see "ba'al" as "husband" in the sense of she'eir kesus ve'onah.

: There is another word which is also translated as "husband", and that
: is "ish". The basic meaning of "ish" is "man", but in contexts involving
: a man-woman relationship, especially when used in the possessive form
: "ishahh" (with a mapik-heh) this word too is usually translated as
: "husband" (or "her husband").

: In the beginning of this week's parsha, I found the word "ishahh" nine
: times (in pesukim 8, 9, 11, 12, twice in 13, twice in 14, and again in
: 15), but the word "baal" or "baalahh" does not appear even once.

Whereas I see ish ve'ishah in terms of the vekivshuha/vekivshah
partnership. And therefore I feel that RSRH's approach to gender roles
addresses this. A husband has the power of hafaras nedarim not in his
role of provider and therefore holding control (as anyone who holds the
purse-strings will), but because it's his role in the partnership
to be the one who sets new directions. (It's hers to insure that they
are developed in a holy way.)

Which shtims with what RGDubin wrote on Tue, Jul 22, 2008 at 4:16am GMT:
: See meforshim on Hoshea 2:18 "On that day you will call Me ishi and
: no longer call me Baali"
: e.g. Rashi: Ishi is lashon ishus vechibas ne'urim; Baal is lashon
: adnus umorah.

:-)BBii!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             "The worst thing that can happen to a
micha at aishdas.org        person is to remain asleep and untamed."
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