[Avodah] Love of the Imahos

[T613K at aol.com]

From: "Rich, Joel" <JRich at sibson.com>
>>I never really  thought about this before, but if it is our understanding
that each man only  had one "zivug rishon",  polygamy implies some women
will end up in this  Leah role; "destined" to be second fiddle?  And when
the gemara says  that before birth the bat kol says bat ploni lploni,
does that include those  who are destined not to be a "true zivug"?<<

KT
Joel  Rich




>>>>
I don't know if there's any source that discusses this  but I have always 
assumed that when the bas kol says "Bas Ploni lePloni" that  each Ploni gets only 
one designated Bas Ploni.  As for the possibility  of a woman ending up with 
a husband who is someone other than her  designated Ploni -- we know that that 
is possible from the very fact that Leah  was designated for Esav but ended 
up with Yakov.   
 
Each of the Avos had one "main" wife or real wife.  For Avraham it was  
obviously Sarah.  For Yakov, it was Rochel.  Dovid Hamelech had many  wives but it 
seems that his "true" designated zivug was Batsheva -- who was  already 
married to someone else when Dovid met her, so it seems she initially  married a man 
who was not her "true" zivug.
 
Luckily for us (or not) we can't hear the bas kol so we just have to muddle  
through, making the best choices we can with the information we have.  I  read 
recently that each person marries the best-looking and smartest person who  
will marry him[her], and thus most marriages end up being between two people of 
 roughly equal looks and intelligence.  The same article (in Time) also said  
that most people make their choice within the available pool at the time, and 
 don't spent their whole  life looking to see if there's someone else  around 
the bend who is just a little bit better looking and just a little bit  
smarter (and will still accept them), because if they did do that, they either  
would never get married at all or their marriages would be highly unstable and  
impermanent. 


--Toby Katz
=============

President Reagan talked with the Soviets while pushing ahead  with the 
deployment of Cruise and Pershing missiles in Europe. He spoke softly —  after 
getting himself a bigger stick.  --Mark Steyn




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