[Avodah] Mitzvah Haba'a BeAveira

[Kayza Zajac]

On Tue, 2008-05-20 at 16:06 -0700, avodah-request at lists.aishdas.org
wrote:
> 
> Similarly, today a friend had a question: a (male) friend of hers had
> just broken up with his girlfriend, and he was somewhat inconsolable.
> He indicated he needed a hug, and she replied that she is shomer
> negiah, but he insisted again. She in the end hugged him, but asked me
> what I thought. I replied that if one views it as a case of mitzvah
> (shomer negiah) versus averah (negiah), then obviously she did nothing
> but a pure averah. But if one views it as one mitzvah (comforting the
> sick, needy, distraught, pained, etc.) versus another mitzvah (shomer
> negiah), it's suddenly not so clear-cut, and perhaps, based on his
> level of neediness, there's a hava amina to permit what she did. But I
> later wondered, wouldn't this be a mitzvah haba'ah ba'averah?

Well, for starters, I think there is the issue of Lav vs Assei.

In this case, however, I think there is also a larger issue that I think
needs to be addressed.  Try this scenario:  Her friend said he needed a
hug and she responded that she can't because she's "touched out".  Would
he be right in insisting, and would anyone expect her to give in?  What
if she had a sensory disorder or just a bad sunburn that made hugging
physically painful?

In other words he simply is not respecting her boundaries - "I want what
I want, and I don't care what it means for you to give it to me." What
other issurim will she be over to accommodate him?  

-- Kayza