[Avodah] Levayeh Minhagim

[Mandel, Seth]

This was a matter of communal minhogim.  There is no remez in the g'moro
or rishonim that women are treated any different than men by the
k'vurah.  The Zohar was the source, and the Zohar's publication (and its
being quoted for certain things in the SA)  did not change the customs
of all communities immediately.  By Litvaks in Europe, women always went
to the levayes and the shura was done for them, as were all minhogim of
avelus (including having a minyan in the house of the deceased).  That
also was and is the custom of Teimanim.

On the other hand, most S'faradim, AFAIK, have conformed to the Zohar,
as did Hungarians and most Chasidim.

Nowadays, as is well known, in EY the chevra kadisha sets its own
customs and most people are obliged to follow them.

 

 

Seth Mandel

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: SBA [mailto:sba at sba2.com] 
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 2:27 AM
To: areivim
Cc: avodah
Subject: Levayeh Minhagim

 

Last Sunday I attended a levayeh of a relative who wasn't too frum. She
only

has a daughter who seems to be even less religious.

As they do not belong to any shul, someone arranged for a young Chabad

(House) rabbi to 'do' the service.

 

He spoke well, said a few kapitlech Tehillim and a few psukim from
Eishes

Chayil etc.

 

However, there was no keriyeh done. (We only realised this much later.) 

I am wondering, did the rabbi simply forget or is this common with other

irreligious aveilim?

 

After the burial, the rabbi announced a 'shurah' - asking men to stand
on

one side and women on the other.

 

I have never before seen a shurah made for a woman or by women. 

 

Is this because of my (and my community's) 'Amish' non-worldiness (as
per

recent newspaper reports) or rather>/

Furthermore, the SA (beshem Zohar) - see SA YD 359:2 and KSA 198:10 -
talks

about the 'sakono' when men see women at funerals. 

 

Our minhag has been that (mostly) women do go out to the cemetery - but

remain in the forecourt until after the kevureh and the men have left
that

area.

 

My late father told me that 'in der heim' (Weitzen - and presumably
other OB

kehilos) women did not attend the burial. I hear that this was also the

minhag in Germany. Presumably in keeping with the SA.

 

How is this followed in other O and MO communities?

 

SBA

 

 

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