[Avodah] Having a boyfriend equivalent to being married?

[Zev Sero]

Josh E. wrote:
> Suppose a woman has several boyfriends, who she was intimate with,
> prior to becoming a baalas teshuvah.   Now, there is a chazakah of
> "Ein adam oseh b'ilaso bi'ilas zenus". If the chazakah applies to
> her, we assume the biah was not for zenus but for kiddushin.
> Therefore, does she effectively have married status and must obtain
> a get (from all, or at least first, of her boyfriends), if she wants
> to get married after becoming religious?
> 
> You might say that the chazakah doesn't apply to her because she was
> not observant. What if she was, but just transgressed in this one
> particular area?


The chazakah would have to apply to both.  Both would have had to
be acting leshem kiddushin.  How likely is that, in our situation?
And then there's still the question of witnesses.  AIUI the witnesses
are supplied by their living together openly and notoriously, which
makes everyone who knows them a witness.  But this depends on their
social circle being not only kosher eidim, but also themselves assuming
that since "ein adam..." the couple must have been married.

Nowadays when we see a couple together we don't automatically assume
they're married, so there go the eidim.  And they themselves don't
think they need to be married, because they don't think be'ilat zenut
is anything to be concerned about.  It's "naaseh keheter".  So the
whole chazaka falls away.


-- 
Zev Sero               Something has gone seriously awry with this Court's
zev at sero.name          interpretation of the Constitution.
                       	                          - Clarence Thomas