[Avodah] Hataras nedarim with a shaliach

[Ilana Sober]

I used to make my husband my shaliach specifically, and let him know if I
had any specific nedarim in mind.

Since he was niftar, I have not done the erev RH hataras nedarim, nor have I
needed to matir any specific neder.

In general - there are some halachot (minhagim?) which in theory would seem
to be equivalent for men and women, but are not very practical for women.
One is the erev RH hataras nedarim, at least for women who do not have a
husband to be their shaliach. A women generally does not go to minyan, and
also needs to be matriach three men to be a beit din, and can't return the
favour.

Another is birkat hagomel after airplane flights. I know women do bench
gomel after childbirth and if they were saved from a serious immediate
danger (car accident, jail) but I have not seen women do so after routine
trans-oceanic flights. I will confess that I also do not bench gomel after
flying, since there is no obvious opportunity to do so. I will further
confess that I have not looked into the question very seriously, and have
assumed that women are just relying on a lenient position that flying is
sufficiently safe and routine that it does not require birkat hagomel, even
though men do not rely on that opinion.

Since I am ashamed to post on Avodah without even trying to locate a source,
I did look up MB OC 219 sk3
"The custom is for women not to make this bracha, and the acharonim wrote
that the reason is because this bracha is recited in the presence of ten,
and it is not proper conduct (orach ar'a) for a woman. Some have written
that in any case it is proper for her to make a bracha before ten, at least
[nine] women and one man." The Aruch HaShulchan OC 219:6 writes: "The
practice of women is not to make the bracha, and there is no basis for this,
only that the custom is to make the bracha at the time of Torah reading and
therefore people imagine that women are not obligated in this bracha.
Therefore, it is proper for them to make the bracha. Perhaps it is because
it is written "bik'hal am" and women are not called "kehal" and to make the
bracha before men is not proper conduct, therefore, they have refrained."

The AH says to look at the Magen Avraham, who cites the KH (?), who
"wondered why women do not say this bracha - if it is because it requires
10, bedieved it can be fulfilled without 10, and therefore she should make
the bracha before wone man or before women ak"l. Perhaps their custom is
because they consider these brachot to be optional."

Gmar chatimah tovah,
Ilana
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