[Avodah] kaddish kashes

[Newman,Saul Z]

i know there are guidelines  for  kadima  in kaddishes. there are cases that
don't seem so clear. like, assuming all the individuals are between 30 and 1
yr for a parent; all are shul members.
how do we factor in the following variances---   the deceased was also a
shul member, one member joined just to be allowed to say kaddish, one can
only make this minyan due to work schedule . one has access to many other
shuls.  one can only come let's say for shacharis and davens pm later. does
he get exclusive shacharis rights.  

i don't see these listed in guidelines, and expect they often come up.....

also, is the kammatz kattan in aramaic not pronounced that way?  is it lolam
ulolmai olmaya     or  lealam ulalmei almaya?
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