[Avodah] Yeshivishe Peyos

[Daniel Israel]

On Wed, 27 Jun 2007 11:50:40 -0600 "kennethgmiller at juno.com" 
<kennethgmiller at juno.com> wrote:
>R' Micha Berger wrote:
>> I am not sure I agree with this assumption that ahavah is
>> more associated with an assei, and yir'ah with a lav. For
>> example, I'm more cautious with my wife's feelings than
>> with someone I care less about. Is that ahavah or yir'ah?
>
>But for the current discussion, I'd like to quote someone (sorry 
>I've forgotten who) who said that "Yir'as HaShem" is not fear of 
HaShem 
>Himself, but that it refers to a fear of *hurting His feelings* 
>(kavyachol).
>
>According to this idea, I would think that yir'ah is most 
certainly 
>associated with lavin. Yirah is my fear of stepping over the line 
>and doing something that would offend Him. This ties in closely to 
>RMB's comment about being cautious with his wife's feelings. Is 
there a 
>Chazal anywhere which says that it is wrong for a husband to have 
>yirah towards his wife? (I hope not.)

But this, perhaps, still begs the question.  The way you are 
describing it, yiras HaShem still seems to be associated with a 
situation which may bring onesh.  If I step over the line, he may 
punish me.  With one's wife that shouldn't be the case.  (That is, 
huring one's wife's feelings may have consequences that one might 
fear, but in a healthy marriage that is not the primary motive not 
to hurt her feelings.)

I always made the association more that way, yireh is associated 
with onesh, and ahava with (in the loshen of the mishnah) lo 
l'mikabel schar.  In that light I would say that indirectly there 
is a connection with an assei/lav dichotemy.  Violating a lav 
requires a ma'aseh, and that ma'seh will bring onesh.  So I think 
it is human nature to have more of an emotional connection between 
lavin and onshin than between not doing an assei and losing schar.

To put it another way: human beings are lazy.  The neutral position 
is to do nothing, no lavin, no mitzvos assei.  Yireh will more 
naturally express itself in avoiding lavin, because we are afraid 
of onesh.  Fear of losing schar is more indirect.  Ahava is more 
motivational, and will lead us to want to do something, that is, 
mitzvos asei.  Avoiding lavin from ahava is again a more abstract 
intellectual process.

At least that's how it seems to me.

--
Daniel M. Israel
dmi1 at cornell.edu