[Avodah] Ahavat Yisrael -- another point

[Shoshana L. Boublil]

I would like to move the Ahavat Yisrael/ hating thread in another 
direction - more machshava related.

When we talk about Ahava, Rav Dessler and many others before him make it 
clear that there are 2 kinds of Ahava.

a) I love a banana
b) I love Hashem.

Both use the same verb, but with regard to the banana, "I" am the focus of 
the love. It is a type of self-love. Loving Hashem, OTOH, is something 
totally different it is "Ko'ach HaNetina" the potential force of giving/ the 
will to give.  As in the saying why did Hashem create the world? - b/c he 
loves Israel, that is, Hashem expressed his love by giving.  It is not 
focused on self, it is focused on the other.

We see this in many sources.  I think that the most impressive is the story 
of Rabbi Akiva, here is a rabbi, a Tanna, whose love for his wife is 
detailed and presented for all to learn from, but when he faces death at the 
hands of the Romans he questions whether he has reached the level of being 
able to love Hashem "BeChol Nafshecha".  Davka he asks this question.

It teaches us that Ahava is something completely different from the 
every-day colloquial usage of the word love, le'ehov.

My question was whether it's possible that when the term hate comes up, it 
also has several meanings and intentions.  From what I've been reading, it 
appears so.

There is the regular hate: "I hate bananas; I hate beans; I hate 
terrorists".  All these hates are based on self: what I like; what I suffer 
from. They are external manifestations of our most basic needs and fears. 
They are the opposite of the self-interest of loving a banana discussed 
above.

When discussing a Sonei that one is supposed to help, we see some elements 
of this issue.  The Sonei is someone you hate, yet you are supposed to 
assist him, which is a manifestation of Ahava, an aspect of Ahavat Hashem.

When we examine this in our daily lives, we know that when we hate someone, 
we want nothing to do with them.  That is a basic aspect of normal hatred. 
And indeed many who profess to hate someone for whatever reason (and yes, 
including that they are insulting Hashem by their actions) don't want to 
have anything to do with these people.

But the pasuk, and Tosefot in Pesachim note that if we don't have anything 
to do with this Sonei, and note that the Sonei is defined by everyone (incl. 
the Mishna Berura) as someone who [by you personally?] was told off and 
shown the error of his ways, and he continued them.  The hatred here is not 
b/c "you don't like him".  It is something else.  And Tosefot says that if 
you were to turn you back on him, this would increase Sin'a -- AND THIS IS 
UNACCEPTABLE!!!  If we were talking about regular hate, this sentence would 
not make sense!

But, if the Sin'a here is, as many sources note, an educational device; a 
way to make it clear to the transgressor how far he has moved off the path, 
then things come together.  You make it clear that you disaprove of his 
actions, but as you are Oheiv Yisrael, in the higher level of the concept, 
and b/c you are not allowed to Lisno Achicha Bil'Vavcha, you therefore aid 
him/his donkey when they need it.

I would like to finish with the thought that insulting the other is a human 
condition.  Hashem does not "get insulted".  The fact is that Hashem appears 
not to mind if people are Ovrei Aveira even and including Avodah Zara -- if 
they express Ahavat Yisrael to ALL members of Yisrael, and live their lives 
as one nation.  The Nach and Midreshei Chazal discuss this in many cases, 
and not just the famous one at the time of Omri.

So, perhaps, instead of taking Sin'a down to its lowest level, we should 
take Ahava up to its highest.

Shoshana L. Boublil