[Avodah] Kiddush Levanah on Motzoei Yom Kippur

[Sober Family]

RYL: ... the wives of the men making Kiddush Levanah have to ... wait for
their husbands to return home and make Havdalah before they can eat.

RZS: Why can't they make their own havdalah?  ...

Me: There is a widespread practice for women not to make havdalah for
themselves (ReMA at the end of OC 296) and some single women davka go to a
family where a man can say havdalah for them. Certainly married women
generally wait to hear havdalah from their husbands. Note that it IS
permissible to drink water before hearing havdalah (OC 299:1).

RYL: some women stay in shul after Neilah and daven Maariv. This means a
delay in preparing the meal after the end of Yom Kippur. Again, is it really
proper to perform this mitzvah at the "expense" of others who may well be
feeling weak from fasting?

Me: Maybe someone else is home preparing the meal, or maybe they are going
to someone else's house? Maybe their car was left at shul over Yom Kippur so
they have to wait for their husband and drive home together? Or they live in
a neighbourhood where women don't walk alone at night? Anyway, providing
some basic food to break the fast does not have to take much time - enough
to open the refrigerator and take out whatever you are serving. An urn can
be left on from before Yom Kippur if people want hot drinks to break the
fast. Or you can flip on the switch of an electric kettle or throw something
into the microwave just before making havdalah. Once people have taken the
edge off their hunger, it is fine wait a little while before having a proper
meal.

- Ilana