[Avodah] kibud av ve-am

[Kenneth Miller]

R' Eli Turkel wrote (and others wrote similarly):
> The problem is the kids asking for something from the parents
> that makes them into a "shaliach"
> i.e. pass the salt or for an Israeli "bring us something from
> the States"

I'd like to suggest that this is a good example of how halacha gets distorted by not having the focus in the right place.

Hashem does not want us to suffer by eating tasteless bread. Rather, He wants us to aspire to the level where we don't want to bother our parents, even for trivial requests, and certainly not for big requests. "Yes, I would like that thing. But asking my parent for it is too high a price to pay. I really do not want it *that* much."

The key is SINCERITY. This will not work if the child harbors even a mashehu of resentment, because (if) the parent senses it, and then the parent will feel bad because he was the cause of his child's pain. But if the child can GENUINELY want to not bother the parent, that is real Kibud Av.

[This post does NOT address the situation of a child who is not yet on such a level, and *would* harbor resentment.]

Akiva Miller
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