[Avodah] Hamakom yinachem eschem

[Prof. Levine]

At 11:47 AM 12/9/2011, R. Micha  wrote:

>On Thu, Dec 08, 2011 at 06:20:38PM -0500, Prof. Levine wrote:
> > Tonight I raised the issue of why we do not use the singular when we say
> > Hamakom when she is the only one sitting.  Someone said that this was
> > raised when some rabbi was present and he said that one should use the
> > plural "since the Neshama of the deceased is also present."...
>
>I have heard that too, but I think it's a general issue. Do you say
>"Shalom Aleikhem" even to just one person?
>
>Besides, what if you're at a daughter mourning her mother, do you say
>"eskhen" instead of "-em"? (For that matter, "neshamah" is lashon
>neqeivah, maybe if the niftar was a man as well...)
>
>I think that either
>1- we simply don't customize such matbei'os, or
>2- we address "you and yours". Perhaps there is a general notion about
>blessing people as part of the community more than as individuals. We
>are even pretentious enough to say "Selach lanu", admitting others'
>guilt rather than to stand alone...

Someone familiar with German minhagim whom I asked about this sent me 
the following:

The minhag is to use the singular when indicated. The sign used by 
KAJ states the use of both.
However, I have heard what the Rabbi said regarding the inclusion of 
the Neshama.
I guess that custom has spread and taken hold.

If the neshama of the deceased is present in the home in which he 
lived,  then, if there are no relatives to mourn and hence no aveilim 
and a minyan is held in the house of the nifter, should those who are 
at the minyan say Ha Makom even though there is no Avel present?

Suppose only one of the aveilim accompanies the nifter to EY for 
burial and sits for a time in EY before returning to the US.  Is the 
neshama there also and hence one would say eschem according to this 
reasoning.  Or is the neshama just in the home where the nifter lived 
and hence one should use only the singular if there is only one Avel 
sitting for a time in EY?

I really do not understand what it means to say "the Neshama of the 
deceased is also present."  Why does the Neshama need comforting and 
what does it mean to comfort a Neshama?  YL

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