[Avodah] Speaking in a Beis Avel

[Prof. Levine]

At 04:26 PM 11/28/2011, R. Micha wrote:

>On Mon, Nov 28, 2011 at 11:55:52AM -0500, Prof. Levine wrote to Areivim:
> > Is it not the minhag that one does not say anything to the person
> > sitting Shiva unless s/he speaks to you first?
>
>YD 376 is named "Minhag haMenachanim veDin Meis sheEin Lo Menachamim". It
>opens, "Ein hamenachamim resha'im liftoach, ad sheyiftach ha'avel
>techilah."
>
>So, is this one rule minhag? Is the whole concept of nichum aveilim
>"only" minhag? And if either, why does se'if 4 begin "achshav nohagim"
>if the prior 3 se'ifim are also minhag?

The following is from Mourning in Halachah, Chapter 17, Consoling Mourners.

1. To console mourners is a major precept.  Some consider this 
mitzvah to be Scripturally ordained (deOraysa).

2.  It is not enough merely to console the mourner; one must also say 
good things to him until one makes him happy, and his face becomes cheerful.

Please see 
http://www.stevens.edu/golem/llevine/consoling_mourners.pdf  for the 
relevant pages.

YL
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