[Avodah] To Stand or Not to Stand for a Chosson and Kallah

[kennethgmiller at juno.com]

R' Micha Berger asked:

> Why is it that everyone stands for the chasan and kallah at
> a wedding, but so few of us have a minhag to stand for Lekha
> Dodi? There we have a kalah, and in some nusachos, she is
> identified with "Shabbas Malkesa".

Mmmm.... That's not how I would phrase it. From what I've seen, everyone does indeed stand for the Malka at Lecha Dodi. The difference is that some stand for all of Lecha Dodi, and others stand only for the last stanza.

Perhaps this comes from different ways of applying Yoreh Deah 244:2 to this situation. Speaking about the mitzva of showing kavod to a chacham, the Mechaber writes: "From what point must one get up? From when he enters his four amos."

The Malka does not actually enter until the end of Lecha Dodi, or perhaps not even until Mizmor Shir. But at what point does she enter our Daled Amos? I can easily see that some would say that she enters our daled amos at the beginning of Lecha Dodi, and it is at that point that we rise in her honor.

But I can also see another perspective. I have heard (and I think the Taz here might explain) that it is actually *wrong* to stand too early, because it does not honor the chacham unless one rises in his actual presence. With this in mind, I can easily see why some would *davka* remain seated for the first stanzas, and rise only upon reaching "Bo'ee..."

(On the other hand, this argument suggests that, at a wedding, we should not rise as soon as the chasan and kallah enter the room, but only when they approach closer. However, a more in-depth study of Hilchos Kavod Chacham and Hilchos Kibud Av will show that that the actual shiur of distance can vary with the situation. My point in this post has been merely to show that that a delayed standing for an invisible honoree could possibly be a good idea.)

Akiva Miller

____________________________________________________________
Penny Stock Jumping 3000%
Sign up to the #1 voted penny stock newsletter for free today!
http://thirdpartyoffers.juno.com/TGL3131/4eb0aa44aaec912745e2st02vuc