[Avodah] malachim & mistakes

[Micha Berger]

On Wed, Oct 05, 2011 at 11:48:30AM -0700, Harvey Benton wrote:
: people think that maybe their marriages don't work out because the malach"
: who either named them, or set up their zivug (didn't hear correctly)

Bas qol is via mal'akh?

Personally, I like RSZN's point.

Too much of today's "hashkafah" books reduce Yahadus to self help. You
can have the happiness you seek through Torah. The Torah will teach you
how to be the parent you want to be, or be the person you want to be.

Torah, though, is about being the person HQBH wants you to be. It's
one thing to learn patience because Hashem wants you to be patient,
it's another to do so because you need it to be happy.

 From my notes of a talk by R' Hillel Becker that was part of
<http://www.aishdas.org/asp/2004/12/psychology-and-mussar.shtml>:

    Self-help addresses (1) loss of productivity; and (2) personal
    pain. In Torah (including Mussar) we'd call these yisurim
    (trevails). But Mussar wouldn't want you to attack yisurim. Yisurim
    are triggers, part of the solution. They aren't the things that need
    changing, they are causes to get up and change something. Mussar
    adds to self-help the notion of duty. One doesn't try to eliminate
    yisurim, but their causes -- which reside in flaws in our ability
    to carry out our mission.

The assumption that one's bashert is their path to happiness is self-help,
not Torah. Perhaps it's bashert that one's spouse is supposed to be
source of triggers for change?

GCT!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             For a mitzvah is a lamp,
micha at aishdas.org        And the Torah, its light.
http://www.aishdas.org                   - based on Mishlei 6:2
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