[Avodah] a troubling halacha

[Micha Berger]

On Tue, Nov 25, 2008 at 12:40:44AM +0000, kennethgmiller at juno.com wrote:
: Moving on, I'd like to point out something that I had not noticed
: before. This halacha which we are referring to -- YD 402:12 -- is
: the last se'if of that siman. ALL ELEVEN of the prior se'ifim concern
: shmuah kerovah and shmuah rechokah (timely and delayed news). This would
: suggest that the concern here is (as I guessed previously) that people
: in general prefer having the lesser restrictions of delayed aveilus,
: and would prefer not to have the stronger restrictions of timely aveilus.

: I had previously asked how and why this sociological change occurred,
: given that most people nowadays would be offended at being denied the
: full, normal amount of aveilus.

I suggested an answer earlier -- it is now far more rare to lose someone
before their expected lifespan. People have grown more sensitive to the
concept of death.

I think that our current "cushy" post-industrial lifestyle is also why
we can't relate as well to advice about remembering yom hamisah. Any
why in general we motivate using "carrots" and don't respond as well to
"sticks". To the extent that RSW points out that Shelomo haMelekh's rod
(chosheikh shivto, sonei veno" Mishlei 13:24) is a sheivet, a staff of
leadership, not something to hit someone with.

I reiterate RAM's question, though, about how someone (like RYBS) who
explains aveilus in terms of catharsis would explain this SA. It would
seem that regardless of what a person would prefer, you would be doing
them a favor by letting them have a means of letting the pain out.

Tir'u baTov!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             Strength does not come from winning. Your
micha at aishdas.org        struggles develop your strength When you go
http://www.aishdas.org   through hardship and decide not to surrender,
Fax: (270) 514-1507      that is strength.        - Arnold Schwarzenegger