[Avodah] a troubling halacha/Re being the bearer of bad news

[T613K at aol.com]

R'n CL writes:

>>If you understand the halacha in the Shulchan Aruch this way  then the Rema
is in fact coming to say, but in the case of male children,  even if you
think that in many ways the child might be better off not  knowing, the
minhag is still to tell them, so they can say kaddish  (remember that kaddish
is regarded as an obligation which assists the meis,  especially when said by
a son, so there is reason to say that even if it is  not so good for the
son's mental welfare to be told, he must still be told  for the good of the
meis).  Such a calculation would not however apply  to daughters or other
close relatives.<<


>>>>>
Something I have wondered about for years:   Does an adopted child, who knows 
that his birth parents are Jewish, have an  obligation to seek them out 1) in 
order to fulfill kibud av va' eim    2) in order to know when they pass away 
3) and does he have to sit shiva for  them when they pass away?   And: if his 
birth parents are  still alive when his adoptive parents pass away, may he sit 
shiva for his  adoptive parents?  Say kaddish for them?  Does he have to get  
permission from his bio parents to do so?  (Coming back to my starting  
question:) Does he have to maintain some kind of contact with his birth parents  in 
order to get that permission if needed?
 
 

 

--Toby  Katz
=============



**************Get the Moviefone Toolbar. Showtimes, theaters, movie news & 
more!(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100000075x1212774565x1200812037/aol?redir=htt
p://toolbar.aol.com/moviefone/download.html?ncid=emlcntusdown00000001)
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.aishdas.org/pipermail/avodah-aishdas.org/attachments/20081116/912f2f37/attachment-0002.htm>