[Avodah] RSRH, Sinatra, and Love and Marriage

[Daniel Eidensohn]

R' Yitzchok Levine wrote:
> *Love and marriage, love and marriage
> Go together like a horse and carriage
> This I tell you brother
> You can't have one without the other
> *
> From a Torah standpoint, there is something very wrong with the 
> lyrics. See RSRH's commentary on Bereishis 24:67 at
There is a problem making broad statement like this -  that "love and 
marriage" is not a Torah concept based on a single case that Yitzchok 
came to love Rifka. That presumes that Hirsch's essay fully describes 
**the Torah understanding** of marriage or even that the Torah has an 
official position of the relationship between love and marriage.

In contrast if you look at the case of Yaakov and Rochel you find. 
Bereishis (19:18). "And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve you 
seven years for Rachel your younger daughter."

It is not helpful to present a statement out of context or even give an 
interpretation which is not supported by the text. While there are 
marriages that follow the Yitzchok Rivka model there are others that are 
successful because they are the Yaakov - Rochel model. Especially since 
the society has changed considerably since Biblical times. For many 
couples if there is no attraction initially - the marriage will not 
succeed. It is also equivalent to saying that since Avraham apparently 
wasn't aware that his wife was beautiful - we should discourage men's 
interest in their wife's attractiveness. While this will work for some - 
there are many marriages that  won't work without physical attraction 
between the husband and wife - as certified by the view of Rabbi Akiva 
and others. Torah's complexity and dynamic nature transcends Rav 
Hirsch's viewpoint which are often polemics against a certain viewpoint 
in his society.

Daniel Eidensohn


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